Are you overwhelmed with the divorce process?

  • Do you feel like your life just isn't moving forward because of your divorce?
  • Do you have a vision of the life you want for yourself after your divorce?
  • Are you having difficulty creating this vision during your divorce?
  • Lifemap from Despair to Victory

    Divorce can be one of the most traumatic changes in your life. While you are never prepared for a divorce you can position yourself to move through this difficult time in your life, learn the lessons you need to learn and create a life that is fulfilling, happy and open to exciting new adventures.

    When you are in the ditches of divorce you feel isolated, even when surrounded by friends and co-workers. You don’t know what to do, even when well meaning friends offer you unsolicited or requested advice. You don’t believe you will ever be normal again. Paralyzed by doubt, indecision and despair you move into self pity, fully knowing it does no good but you feel you have been mortally wounded and know that you will never recover from the arrows of self doubt, fear of the future and of today. How will you support yourself, how will you take care of everything that has to be done, pay the bills, take care of the house and yard and the car? All of the things that used to be shared are now your responsibility, even if you have never done them before.

    Gather your courage, what! You can’t even find your courage. It is hidden inside, deep in your soul and it is there. It is what will finally move you forward when you find it again. Inside is a brave and wondrous soul and once you have driven down this road called divorce you will enter a new highway to the future that you will create.

    I want to inspire you to create that life and expedite you on the expressway of creating the courageous new you.

    Steps need to be taken. New directions need to be followed. The old reassessed; saving what is usable, valuable or needed.

    Feelings of loss, low self – esteem, lack of self love and fear are road blocks in the despair of divorce. Making decisions about your life when you are having a hard time remembering your name seems impossible.

    Yes, this is a difficult place; the injustice of it all is not fair. So I give you permission to have a pity party, invite all the divorced persons you know and whine, cry, call the s. o. b. every name you desire, grieve. When you invite all the divorced people you know to the party, you will discover they understand and support the difficult position you are in, you will also discover your divorced friends have all moved on and are living the life they created. See it is possible. Good, now that the whining, crying and grieving are over the work begins to dismantle what did not work and to build what will work.

    1. Find yourself an attorney. One that you are compatible with, one that understands your unique needs and one that will return your calls. I have a free e-report that will help you to find the best attorney for you. Go to my website to download.

    2. Take the time to be quiet, sit by yourself and ask what your needs are for the future. Not your wants but your needs. List these needs, including training or college for your future. Your time has come to accept the new opportunities.

    3. Locate all of your family bills, knowing that you will be paying them in the future. Electricity, water, telephone, television, bills rarely drop when one partner leaves the home. The cost of rent or mortgage remains the same, even if one or a dozen live in the home. Food and clothing does decrease by one, divide it in half if you were a couple or by the number of people that you will be responsible for feeding and clothing. Think of every possible contingency that can occur. A great help for this is to go back through your check book for at least 24 months and go through all of your credit card bills for 24 months. It is better to use 24 months rather that 12 as it gives you a better idea of car repairs, emergencies etc. that have been part of your budget. This must be done as accurately as possible.

    4. Locate a support group for persons going through divorce. Check out more that one group. This will be more help than you realize. You will understand that you are not alone. If you have children find a church or association that has divorce groups for them. If they are too young to attend a group. Make sure they understand, mommy and daddy will be there for them and will help with their problems and be available to answer their questions. If one parent has been abusive, verbally or physically, you will have to reassure the child alone. Never use the child as a tool to barter for what you want.

    5. There are many other issues to deal with during these next few months, but for now, dealing with these will allow the process to move faster and take you from despair to victory. I will write other articles to help you and to show you what you will need to deal with in the near future. I believe finding the best attorney is the wisest use of your time and money.